For those of you just tuning in, this Web 'zine is dedicated to those who wish to get out from under the corporate machine before it grinds them down, chews them up and spits them out like gum, to be stuck upon the sidewalk and trod upon repeatedly. In keeping with this goal, this editorial will Address Valentine's Day, belabor it like the two dollar whore that it is, and shuffle it aside to be ignored like it deserves to be.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Does this seem a little harsh? Well, too bad. The original premise of Valentine's Day was taken by a bunch of money-grubbing corporations hell-bent on glutting the masses with tacky crap and shallow ideals in an effort to line their own pockets.

First off, let's remember it's Saint Valentine's Day. It was originally a day to commemorate St. Valentine, a priest who refused to renounce his beliefs and was imprisoned by the Romans (speaking of getting chewed up by a corporate machine) and sentenced to die. Lore varies, but supposedly, he sent secret notes to his friends and family, via white doves, telling them not to worry about him, and how much he loved them. Now, that's the kind of person you commemorate with his/her own day. That's
something worth celebrating, not the gruesome fungus of commercialism that it has unfortunately evolved into.

Let's face it folks: The holiday we all know of as Valentines Day is a crock. It teaches small children to ostracize each other, and that love is all about getting. It promotes the attitude that it's okay to neglect your significant other the rest of the year, as long as you make it up to them on this one day. It tells us that romantic attachments are the only attachments that count, and never mind your friends or family. It suggests to women that if a man doesn't pony up the goods on this one day, then they don't love us (never mind the other 364 days of devotion) and worse, it suggests to men that women don't care about devotion, unless it comes wrapped inside something shiny and expensive. It promotes narcissism for two, that whole delusion of romance, obsession and fantasy that masquerades as love today.

Oh, what, we can't stand Valentine's Day, so we must not believe in true love? True love is about friendship. And trust. And honesty. It's about friends and family. It's about self-sacrifice. It's about putting the needs of others first. But only sometimes, because true love is also about being happy and comfortable about yourself, and treating yourself well, too. We at Corporate Motherfucker do believe in true love.

That's why we don't recognize Valentine's Day.

With all of my heart Darlings, 365 days of the year.

 

Need love advice? The Mighty Afrodite can be reached at TheMightyAfrodite@corporatemofo.com. Complaints go to editor@corporatemofo.com.