We're giving up.

You see that Manifesto there? Under "Mission Statement" on the left? Yeah, that. Ignore that, OK?

You see, after Tuesday's election, we have come to accept that nothing is going to get any better, and quite possibly will get worse. The American people have spoken, and they're right, as always. We're nobody to argue.

The state of liberalism in this country is laughable. Walk by an anti-war protest and you'll see a huge assortment of people carrying signs protesting everything from capitalism to police brutality, being led in chanting by some dreadlocked poli-sci undergraduate from the 'burbs who's convinced her cause is the same as the Palestinian people's because she's been discriminated against as a "womyn" in a patriarchal society. Nowhere is there a voice of reason, or even of coherent sense, to be heard.

The other side doesn't protest much, and they're hardly heard from. Yet, they do seem to vote. For instance, they just voted George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and John Ashcroft a conservative, Republican congress, the better to rubber-stamp their fascistic little plans for making us all good little corporate slaves.

There is no hope. I mean, Al Gore might run again in 2004, but what are the odds that he can pull off a second win? And aren't the freaking Democrats as big crooks as the Republicans?

Sure they are. But that's OK. We're at peace with that.

Instead of writing about the arts of resistance, we're just gonna launch ourselves into a Weimar-Germany-inspired orgy of decadence. We're going to show you how to live for the now, live fast and die young, take drugs, and have bizarre, perverted sex with strangers. (Just so long as you don't breed. After all, bringing children into this world would be a crime against humanity.) Here, for instance, is how to shoot heroin.

In keeping with this new theme, we're also going to switch this Web site to an all-hardcore porn format. Please e-mail pictures of yourselves having sex with your office equipment to editor@corporatemofo.com