Can you believe it's finally graduation day? After six long years here in IntarWeb High, you're off to Wall Street for your IPO. We're all really proud of you, and we're sure you'll do fantastic.

You and I have been so close through the years. Do you remember that time I wrote that piece explaining the Matrix as an allegory of Gnostic theology? Well, I didn't think it was so special, but you sure did! Within forty-eight hours, it seemed like everyone on the Web had read my little site. Sure, my server bandwidth bill was astronomical, but boy! were all my friends impressed! I just hope that while you're away in the big leagues, you'll look back and remember the good times we've had.

You've always had a heart of gold--buying everyone lunch, giving them massages, doing their laundry—and I want you to know we've appreciated it. Whether it's the free meals in the cafeteria, or the lava lamps, or the dogs in the break room, you've shown us that a business doesn't have to treat its people worse than its computers. You've always been unique and special.

But be careful out there. The guys there on Wall Street are pretty tough, and they play to win. I don't mean the individual investors, of course—those are the guys like you and me. I mean the Skull and Bones clubs, the big corporate investors and the retirement funds. They don't come from the same place you and I do; they're from the big city, and they only have one thing on their minds. So, be careful: Don't go on that beer-binge frat party when you know you have to keep the ol' nose to the grindstone. And, most of all, always remember where you came from.

Google, I love you. Don't ever change.

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