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The knock on my door came at an ungodly hour—11 AM on a Tuesday.
(One of the few benefits of being unemployed is that you can finally
get the good 12 or 13 hours of sleep you've been craving since high
school.) Blearily, I made sure my junk wasn't playing peek-a-boo
through the hole my boxer shorts and opened the door. Fortunately,
it wasn't my landlord or the Department of Homeland Security or
anything like that, but rather a friendly US postal employee, with
a rather large envelope for me.
"Hmmmn,
now what could this be?" the awake portion of my brain that
wasn't preoccupied with my over-full bladder wondered as I ripped
open the package. No less than six softcover books spilled out onto
my carpet. This in itself is unusual: Usually, when Feral
House or Soft
Skull sends me something to review, I get ONE copy. This
time was different: In gratitude for the
interview I did with Odd Todd about a year ago, I had
received a good half-dozen copies of Odd
Todd's new book! A moment of somnambulant investigation
revealed the reasoning: There was a Warner Books logo on the cover!
Goddamn
AOL-Time-Warner corporate bastards. They've employed Todd!
Ah, well.
At least their America Online subscribers don't have the bandwidth
to actually see the cartoons. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
The question,
then, was what I was supposed to do with six copies of the book.
A note fluttering to the ground provided the explanation:
Hello
Ken,
Here's
the review & giveaway copies as promised. Let me know when
the contest is up.
Best!
Kelley
Oh, right.
I was supposed to run a contest. Here's the deal: Post your best
(or worst) "work sucks" stories to this
Fark thread, and we'll get the Fark community to vote
on them. The top 5 entries (as they stand Tuesday morning at 9 AM)
get a copy of the book personally mailed to them by Yours Truly.
Winners must have a valid e-mail in their Fark user profile, or
at least have the courtesy to e-mail me; if I don't hear back from
you within 48 hours, I'm going to the next mofo on the list.
By the
way, the book is pretty funny (or FUN-AY, as Todd would have
it). The instructions, on writing screenplays and children's books
(the two most common New York get-rich-quick schemes) are brilliant.
The dream interpretation is inspired. Plus, considering that "unemployed"
is becoming the new American lifestyle, Odd Todd may be the Hugh
Hefner of the double-zero decade (minus the chicks, of course).
However,
as an impartial reviewer, I should note that Todd apparently does
not realize—as anyone who has ever watched the 1960s Batman
show does—that penguins live in the South Pole, not the North.
I guess AOL-Time-Warner doesn''t employ fact checkers.
Which,
it seems, they sorely need.
Hey,
you guys wanna see my resume?
For
cash and prizes, write to editor@corporatemofo.com
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